a4gom Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the Chemists at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten pounds... a hell of a lot quicker than waiting for a doctor." So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the chemists. He inserts ten pounds in coins, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to the chemists, eager to check the results. He deposits ten pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bath him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into a clinic. 4. Your wife is pregnant... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a good lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Quote
pistonbroke Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 my elbow ! I thought it was caused by leaning on a wet bar Quote
oldman Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Tried it meself and the bl**** thing had the cheek to print out ...you drink too much. So I poured in some beer and it said..you taking the p*** Don't worry I don't understand me own jokes either Quote
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