The Cat Did This !!!!

[Mark Stanton]

Boom tish            

[Arm]

There once was was a driver most feared

He had a most fascinating beard

Very slowly it grows

But the bearded one knows

It's merely coz he keeps it well sheared

[JimNoble]

   

Jim

[pistonbroke]

Reminds me of one of me old landlords who went doo lally and chucked himself out of the 3rd floor window of his pub after several attempts with his head in the gas stove had failed .

Landed on a car roof in the street ! broke his back, both legs, arms what have you .

spent the rest of his days on crutches trying to jump in front of buses and lorries but of coarse he was far to slow for even the dosiest bus drivers .

But just imagine the poor guy sat in his car below and the laugh he must have had .

Love to have read his insurance claim form

[Frau Vesty]

Talking of cats, have you seen the latest (spoof) advert for the ipod flea  

[Frau Vesty]

Cat buckaroo

[Buzz Billsberry]

Main thing is the cat's ok.Mind u thats what you get when a cat starts 'shaking that ass!' I'm suprised the car didn't drop to bits with it been a Renault....... Vavameuw!!

Buzz

Power to the nunney

Obviously at that time of the morning the cat was still wearing his storking slippers cos if it still had its climb boots on well the damage could have bin much worse!!

[a4gom]

What was it you said you were doing with the cat in the bedroom at 4am in the morning?  

[Blatman]

Or rather;

What was it you said you were doing with the cat in the bedroom at 4am in the morning to make it want to jump out of a top floor window?

[pistonbroke]

Once new a Welch farmer who claimed a new sheep world high jump record !

claimed it had jumped  20ft ........

That was the  distance  from his bedroom window to the floor  

[a4gom]

The only relevance to this thread is the word cat but I just got this in an email so thought I would share it.

The Four Cats !

Four men were bragging about how smart their

cats were.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a Chemist,,,,,,and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some

paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.............

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said "Measure, do your stuff."  Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Employee called his cat and said,"CoffeeBreak do your stuff." CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet  

ate the cookies,,,,,,,,

drank the milk,,,,,,,,,

s**t on the paper,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

screwed the other three cats,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

claimed he injured his back while doing so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,,,

put in for Workers Compensation...............and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............

[pistonbroke]

Ya cant beat a good coffee break