steve_m Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Jade Goody and Jordan to be first Britains to walk on the Sun. They've already done the Sun haven't they ? Quote
Bananaman Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Speperate Q at the post office for old dears who want a chat with the counter staff about 'How things used to be................' Quote
Coxy Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Next government to be decided by endurance go-karting race for the prospective cabinets. Imagine two-jags trying to squeeze into a kart Quote
Paul Hurdsfield - Joint Manchester AO Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 spend every Friday night in the middle of Moss Side wearing a sign that says, 'I've got more money than you'. You ever bin there, Essex Girl Quote
Blatman Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Thongs (ladies) to be made in size 10 and under *only* Compulsory breast augmentation for ladies with a cup size of C and under. Ban tights... Quote
Frau Vesty Posted April 27, 2005 Author Posted April 27, 2005 spend every Friday night in the middle of Moss Side wearing a sign that says, 'I've got more money than you'. You ever bin there, Essex Girl Don't be silly, I'm a southern softie. The nearest I've ever been to Manchester is Chez Mason. Blatman: are you including edible and crotchless tights in your ban? Quote
Blatman Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Blatman: are you including edible and crotchless tights in your ban? Yes. If you *really* want the extra calories provided by edible tights, buy a bag of jelly babies instead... Quote
scruffythefirst Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Anyone with an IQ of under 100 or wearing burbery or white tracksuits in a manner other than directed to be neutered. Anyone who buys a 4x4 must prove that they own a farm. Quote
pistonbroke Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Ban monday's make work a crime punishable by a month off for every hour caught working Ban religion Give us an extra 359 bank holidays per annum free beer tokens free petrol empty roads (except me ) put the current back in bun bring back the meat and spud pie ban disabled car parks ( Inever seen anyone yet use em who couldn't walk better than me ) In fact ban car parks all together, lets have drive through asda etc ! or better yet why not have roadside shopping on the motorway ? get yer bread fresh on't way home Quote
Kaz Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 On the spot fine for grossly overweight men who take their shirts off Make it an arrestable offence for guys to be showing even a tiny bit of builders A*** - upgraded to imprisonable if it's hairy (urghhh) Abolish burberry Send all chavs to remote island Once all chavs safely there - blow it up!! Quote
barney Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Anyone who buys a 4x4 must prove that they own a farm. or prove they are a speed series competitor using said 4 X 4 to transport their pride and joy to sprints etc.. Ban chelsea tractors from outside all primary schools between 070 and 10:30 am Quote
Captain Colonial Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 All immigrants to be tested before being allowed entry to England. Anyone who cannot recite at least 5 Monty Python and/or Fawlty towers sketches to be immediately sent to live in France. Anyone who passes this test is deported anyway on the grounds that they probably cheated. AHEM!!! I'm afraid I fall into the latter. Too bad for you lot I've got got dual citizenship, innit? Quote
Captain Colonial Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 > Any pedestrian that pushes the button at a crossing and then crosses before the light changes, leaving you in your car to face red light with an empty crosswalk - death penalty > Barney the dinosaur - slow torture with recordings of his own drivel, and then the death penalty > Ditto George W Bush Quote
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