Mitchamidilly Posted October 16, 2004 Posted October 16, 2004 "Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding)": 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room. 5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain bits of Lego's 'will' pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jelly. 15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove. 18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing. 25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid. Quote
Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) Posted October 16, 2004 Posted October 16, 2004 Very funny 25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid. Damn, rumbled Quote
Mitchamidilly Posted October 16, 2004 Author Posted October 16, 2004 I am one of the 40% until tomorrow Quote
Gromit Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid Foiled, theres no bleach in the house but i`ve got a 5 litre can of DOT4 in the garage. First thing in the morning it`s down to ASDA. Someone put the fire brigade on standby. Quote
felters Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Some years ago a friend, who had watched one celebrity chef too many, invited us around for a barbecue... duck breasts and some fancy sauce. The smoke could be seen from the next county and the fire brigade were called by at least two concerned neighbours Quote
Westfields Rock On Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 how do they know i was thinking of the bleach thing?! Quote
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