Buzz Billsberry Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 Children's Science Exam These are real answers given by children. (Only children could come up with this, and keep a straight face! ************************************************************************ **** Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. ************************************************************************ **** Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. ************************************************************************ **** Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. ************************************************************************ **** Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vaccuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. ************************************************************************ **** Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What is artificial insemination? A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. ************************************************************************ **** Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen). A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. ************************************************************************ **** Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section" A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome. ************************************************************************ **** Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Quote
adhawkins Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 Buzz, Why is it virtually every time you start a new topic, we end up with two of them? You don't double click the 'Submit post' button you know... Andy Quote
KerryS Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 My wife marks exam papers and we have a bit of a laugh at what the little darlings put too. Next year we'll record the funnies and post them here. There was one question whose answers defeated us and the examiner and needed reference back to the exam people. We now know that deep sea waves are an example of longutudinal waves, whereas suface waves are transverse waves...............so who cares? Kerry S Quote
pistonbroke Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 Its probably due to the spectral decomposition of multivariant autoregresivness in the adolescent mindset ! Quote
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