One for the ladies

[Fat Albert]

Some things men aren't likely to say

1. I thought the bed sheets might need cleaning, so I've popped them in the washing machine

2. Don't worry, I've booked the babysitter for saturday night

3. I thought the red dress looked good, but there's no rush, there are plenty of other shops we can try before you make up your mind

4. No, it's nothing as bad as the flu, I've just got a head cold

5. I'm far too drunk for you to possibly want to have sex with me

6. My boss is really good at his job and quite a pleasant bloke

7. You can never have too many pairs of shoes

8. Actually, I think her breasts are too big

9. We don't talk anymore

10. I'm completely lost so I'll wind down the windows and ask that man for directions

11. That's enough about me, tell me about you

12. I'd never want you to perform oral sex unless I thought you were really going to enjoy doing it

13. While I'm on my feet is there anything I can get you

14. You just relax, I'll organise the summer holiday this year

15. I was talking to Mike at work about his relationship with his wife and I've suggested the way forward them might be counselling

16. I think England's manager picked the right team and that referee has remarkably good eyesight

17. Does my bum look big in this?

18. I'd be just as happy with a kiss and a cuddle this evening

19. No, I really don't think I could manage another pint

20. I've written all the christmas cards, now I'll make a list of presents to buy

21. Oh good, an invitation to your second cousin's wedding, that'll be fun

22. I see Brad Pitt has a new movie out, fancy going to see it?

23. I've been totally selfish and thoughtless and I'm so sorry