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And so the dumb begins…


Captain Colonial

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*Pins script to back of front door*

😄

 

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I've never ever had anyone canvassing anywhere that I live.  Early on in the north east it was always assumed that Labour would win; now in Scotland it's SNP. My vote has never counted anywhere.

 

D

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I wasn't in this house very long before the myriad of canvassing from all the flavours of parties started, so with that I did a rather over sized sign on the front door , that not only that  included junk mail, any religious visitors as well as the host of fast food menus and charity bags. For the most part they stay away, however there have been some rather persistent ones who simply ignore the polite requests.  I in return, not so politely give it straight back to them ( in the case of junk mail etc ) they are not really happy with that sometimes...

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I’ve had a “please fonk off” sign by the doorbell for years now. Well, it doesn’t actually say that, it’s polite, but the meaning is hopefully clear and it is literally right next to the doorbell.

 

The usual suspects for ignoring it are itinerant types looking to do “work” for me, either the garden or assorted other things like cleaning the drive, the gutters, the roof, whatever. I used to explain that I do anything that I want doing myself, but lately I just open the door and say “nothing thank you, bye” and shut the door. If they haven’t spotted me, I’ll just ignore them. Maybe I should just ignore them anyway, given they ignore the sign.

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20 minutes ago, Richard (OldStager) said:

I wasn't in this house very long before the myriad of canvassing from all the flavours of parties started, so with that I did a rather over sized sign on the front door , that not only that  included junk mail, any religious visitors as well as the host of fast food menus and charity bags. For the most part they stay away, however there have been some rather persistent ones who simply ignore the polite requests.  I in return, not so politely give it straight back to them ( in the case of junk mail etc ) they are not really happy with that sometimes...

I keep the charity bags and use them as bin bags, recycling at it's best!

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Just now, evosteve said:

I keep the charity bags and use them as bin bags, recycling at it's best!

Actually I now do that myself, as they just keep on appearing. Nice and big as well aren't they, lol.

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I look forward to either closing my door in their faces or cutting them down to size depending on my mood.     I don't think I've ever been so dis-elusioned with the people in politics.     I think to myself(and you), if this is the best choice of people out of the whole of the UK to run the country then UK politics is broken.  Yet looking across the pond  they have an even worse choice..  

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1 minute ago, evosteve said:

I keep the charity bags and use them as bin bags, recycling at it's best!

Me too. It’s not that I object in principle, it’s just that I have nothing they’d want, so, free bin bags. Presumably the mainstay of their trade are the folks that endlessly buy new clothes?

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1 minute ago, DamperMan said:

I look forward to either closing my door in their faces or cutting them down to size depending on my mood.     I don't think I've ever been so dis-elusioned with the people in politics.     I think to myself(and you), if this is the best choice of people out of the whole of the UK to run the country then UK politics is broken.  Yet looking across the pond  they have an even worse choice..  

None of the offerings appeal to me. Sadly, I’ll have to just vote against those who I really don’t want in power, lacking anyone that really resonates.

 

But yes, it could be so much worse. We have, so far at least, avoided the trumpian style of “politician”, but there are signs that some folk are going to give it a try here. No doubt they will appeal to the sort that still think COVID was spread by 5G.

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This may well be the first election campaign I will have followed closely, in the past I have been somewhat apathetic to what the candidates promised because I know full well once in power the mandates go right out of the window, it's this mis - trust that I haven't really paid much attention in the past.  Having watched a few interviews recently all the parties have one or two things I agree with, but the rest is garbage - so with 42 days to go I still have no clue where to place that X.

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2 hours ago, DamperMan said:

Yet looking across the pond  they have an even worse choice..


I can’t be everywhere, you know.

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4 hours ago, Captain Colonial said:

10 AM and the doorbell goes.  That’s unusual as I’m particular about the company I keep, especially in the morning.

 

I open the door and a political party worker is there, complete with rosette (which party not relevant).  “Good morning!”, he says in an excessively chipper voice.  I hate him already.  No one should be that chipper this early, plus I’ve got a notice by the doorbell he just pushed saying “No Politics” that he deftly managed to ignore.

 

”It’s definitely morning, but whether or not it’s good is up for debate right now.”, I reply in a clipped tone.

 

”I’m here on behalf of the (redacted) Party!”  Really?  That’s a surprise.  I thought the rosette was a fashion statement.

 

”I gathered.”

 

”Can I ask how you will be voting in the General Election?”

 

”Yes.”

 

Blank grin and a pause.  “Well?”

 

”Well what?”

 

Confused face.  “I don’t understand.”

 

Me, in a measured tone.  “You said, can I ask how you will be voting in the General Election, and I said yes - go ahead and ask.”

 

After a few seconds, the penny drops and his face lights up.  “Oh! Ha ha ha, good one, sir!”  I’m not laughing,  “How will you be voting in the General Election?”

 

”The same way I always do.  I go into the polling station and put my cross next to the candidate and party I think will do the least amount of harm.  Currently, your inability to read and comprehend my “No Politics” sign is not doing your cause any good.  Kindly leave and do not return.  Goodbye.”  Door shuts in grinning face.

 

*sigh* Only 42 days to go…

 

 

 

 

Classic. Love it. I'm gonna see if I'm brave enough to try that on the next one that calls here

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59 minutes ago, Flying Carrot Steve said:

Classic. Love it. I'm gonna see if I'm brave enough to try that on the next one that calls here

I have done the same thing in the past with those bible bashers that used to come around, different script but same meaning.

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1 hour ago, Richard (OldStager) said:

I have done the same thing in the past with those bible bashers that used to come around, different script but same meaning.


Ditto.  A particular cult used to knock on my door every Saturday morning at 10:15, two men in suits, excessively happy, with a small child in tow and left by my front gate.  For months, they wouldn’t take a hint to bog off, even when it applied with the subtlety of a brick.

 

Finally, one Saturday morning, I was ready for them.  Bang in time at 10:15, the bell rang.  I opened the door while dressed from head to toe in red, 666 on my forehead with red lipstick and a huge carving knife in my hand.  “Thank goodness you’re here!  That goat is loose in the house!  Come help me!”

 

They disappeared like a fart through hemp pyjamas and never returned.

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