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The empty space between my ears (or, a song of keys and morons)


simon.white

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whoops

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2 hours ago, simon.white said:

Evening all.

 

Yesterday morning, the first lovely Sunday in a while round my area had been forecast; so up early I get to take the Westfield for it's first proper spin of the year.  Got my bits together, wife not expecting me back until lunch, no jobs around the house, super.

 

Key won't go into the ignition barrell.  I decide there's either there's some debris in the barrel, or the first pin is seized.

 

So anyway, some hours later and a trip to the shops, the key has been pounded flat with a wooden mallet.  The ignition barrell has been WD40d, Graphite Powdered, blasted through with air and generally probed like an Alien abductee.  It's too late to go on my trip, and the key still won't go in.  Locksmiths have been googled.  I debate trying to pull the ignition barrel off the car, but that's a giant PITA.

 

And then I stop trying to use the boot key to start the car and just put the ignition key in.  Starts first time, of course.

 

So, anyway, I was wondering:  What's the stupidest (safe) thing you've done with your car recently?  Make me feel better about how I wasted my Sunday 🙂

 

Si

On a positive note I bet you don't do that again.

 

😊

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This was a long time ago and wasn't the Westie but never mind.

There I am in my one car lock up, doing some welding on my buggy. There's no power in my lock up, so it's gas welding.

Tum te tum, getting on great here.....

Hmmm, my leg's getting a bit warm, I'll move it away from the heat a little.

Tum te tum ............

Hmmm. leg's still a little warm - better move it further.

Tum te tum ............

Still hot - a bit further then.

This continues 'till my leg was against the garage wall and I cannot move it any further. At this point I decide that I'd better flip the mask up and have a look.

SH*T! Leg's on fire. With remarkable coolness I pat out the flames.

At this point in the story I think that maybe I'd better point out the condition of my overalls - old and really really grease stained. Plus, with gas welding all day I guess that the atmosphere's pretty oxygen rich.

So. Pat the flames out.

So what happens? Whoomp! Leg bursts into flames again.

Hmmmm. Pat the flames out again.

Whoomp! Leg bursts into flames again.

Hmmmmmm. There's a pattern developing here.

Luckily I notice a bucket in the corner of the garage. I grab it and rush round to the standpipe at the end of the block, my leg an impressive mass of smoke and flames.

So there I am, standing at the standpipe, leg on fire, waiting for the bucket to fill.

Finally!!!! Leg goes into the bucket up to mid-calf. There's a loud hissing and the flames finally go out. I leave it in the water for a while to cool down. Much to the amusement of the kids hanging round ...................

Had my thick leather Redwing boots on so no real damage other than to my overalls and my dignity.

 

David

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49 minutes ago, TableLeg said:

On a positive note I bet you don't do that again.

 

😊

And, in fairness, my lock has never been so well lubricated (oooo Mrs, Behave)

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26 minutes ago, dvd8n said:

This was a long time ago and wasn't the Westie but never mind.

There I am in my one car lock up, doing some welding on my buggy. There's no power in my lock up, so it's gas welding.

Tum te tum, getting on great here.....

Hmmm, my leg's getting a bit warm, I'll move it away from the heat a little.

Tum te tum ............

Hmmm. leg's still a little warm - better move it further.

Tum te tum ............

Still hot - a bit further then.

This continues 'till my leg was against the garage wall and I cannot move it any further. At this point I decide that I'd better flip the mask up and have a look.

SH*T! Leg's on fire. With remarkable coolness I pat out the flames.

At this point in the story I think that maybe I'd better point out the condition of my overalls - old and really really grease stained. Plus, with gas welding all day I guess that the atmosphere's pretty oxygen rich.

So. Pat the flames out.

So what happens? Whoomp! Leg bursts into flames again.

Hmmmm. Pat the flames out again.

Whoomp! Leg bursts into flames again.

Hmmmmmm. There's a pattern developing here.

Luckily I notice a bucket in the corner of the garage. I grab it and rush round to the standpipe at the end of the block, my leg an impressive mass of smoke and flames.

So there I am, standing at the standpipe, leg on fire, waiting for the bucket to fill.

Finally!!!! Leg goes into the bucket up to mid-calf. There's a loud hissing and the flames finally go out. I leave it in the water for a while to cool down. Much to the amusement of the kids hanging round ...................

Had my thick leather Redwing boots on so no real damage other than to my overalls and my dignity.

 

David

What an image!  Patiently waiting for the water to fill the bucket and put out the flames :) Thanks for the story!

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When I was building my first Westie 20+ years ago I had just fitted the steering rack for the first time and connected it to the uprights, and so I plonked myself into the driving seat for the obligatory "pretend you are zooming round Brands Hatch" moment. Almost immediately, the steering sized up - I could not move it at all. I was incensed.... "what useless quality control.... how dangerous..... what if this had happened on the road?!?" I was all set to ring Westfield up and give them an earful.... when my other half gently asked.... "does it have a steering lock?".

 

Ah, yes, that'll be it then. Put the ignition key in and of course it was fine. I was so glad she asked before I'd phoned.... 

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17 hours ago, simon.white said:

And then I stop trying to use the boot key to start the car and just put the ignition key in.

 

I do this pretty much every time that I get in the driver's seat.  I mean, obviously the big key is the ignition and the small one the boot key.  

 

It's only reasonable.

 

Right?

 

D

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I'm happy to help members go keyless to avoid this- Keyless ignition guide

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