JamesD Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer. Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos! Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get. Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them... This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit. Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section. I think it's really...really... really...good. What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them! Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911! Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. Aw, Dad. You've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man now, and old people are useless. Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love! I hope I didn't brain my damage. Trying is the first step towards failure. The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth. "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as foxy boxing, hot oil wrestling, and such and such" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Catflap Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 heheh am crying laughin you really have to imagine homer sayin them for the full effect! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmmmdonuts Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Couldn't let this one go without adding a few more classics... Lisa, are my pants on? But Marge, didn't you hear? (sobbing) They have no bananas We could have our own game; where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing's the way it seems... Son, when you get older you'll realise that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead Marge: Now Homer, you're over-stimulated, lets get some beer into you, and then it's straight off to bed Homer: (Runs about frantically, flapping his arms) Woo-hoo! - beer beer beer, bed bed bed! Dammit, I'm no supervising technician. I'm a technical supervisor. It's too late to teach this old dog new tricks." You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said 'Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and,God bless her soul, she was really onto something." As far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It gives me the right - no, the duty - to make a complete ass of myself D'oh! English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Quiet, you kids! If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons and Lisa doesn't get to go to college." Marge, you're my wife and I love you very much. But you're living in a world of make-believe. With flowers and bells and leprechauns. And magic frogs with funny little hats..." I don't care if Ned Flanders is the nicest guy in the world. He's a jerk - end of story." If there was any justice, my face would be on a bunch of crappy merchandise! I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically we become a family of travelling acrobats If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't God everywhere?" If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things! Ah, sweet pity: where would my love life have been without it? Oh Lisa, you and your stories. 'Bart is a vampire'. 'Beer kills brain cells'. Now let's go back to that...building...thingee...where our beds and TV ...is" Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... Except the weasel." Everytime I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my head! Like that time I took a wine tasting course, and after, I couldn't remember how to drive." I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odours - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson? Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the Police Academy, I thought it'd be fun and exciting, you know, like the movie 'Spaceballs'. But instead, it's been painful and disturbing, like the movie 'Police Academy' First Bush invades my turf, then he takes my pals, then he makes fun of the way I talk - probably - now he steals my right to raise a disobedient, smart-alecky son! Well, that's it! I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky! Oh, honey, I didn't get drunk, I just went to a strange fantasy world. Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them I have misplaced my pants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
furtive Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 My favourite quote is missing: Marge "Homer, the nuclear plant called and said if you don't turn up to work tomorrow don't bother going in on Monday" Homer "Woo-hoo, four day weekend" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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