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Voting, California Style


Captain Colonial

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One of the highlights of my year is receiving the government-produced information on state elections, and this year is no exception.

 

As it’s a primary election to narrow down candidates for different state offices, this one has no issues or referendums to consider, so the voters can concentrate on finding the right persons for the offices up for grabs.

 

This booklet is sent out in advance, giving you lots of time to read and study.

 

This 64-page guide hit my doorstep recently, and I thought I’d share a few of the highlights:

 

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There are 14 different offices up for contention and 64 candidates vying for my vote for those offices.  As long as you manage to meet the criteria to get on the ballot, the state is obliged to give you a space in this guide for you to say whatever you like, and that you think would encourage people to vote for you.

 

For instance, this is Douglas.  He’s running for United States Senator.  This is pretty much standard wide-ranging fare that he hopes you will like.  Everyone knows this is preposterously ambitious, but he’s allowed to say it.

 

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This is Obaidul.  He was too busy creating his website to cut and paste something about what he stands for in to be included in the free state guide that went to every voter in California.  It’s up to us as voters to research him, I guess.

 

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This is Don.  For some reason, Don doesn’t want to share what he looks like with us, but he does want to share his views.  Which are strong, numerous and somewhat uncompromising.

 

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This is John.  I can’t help feeling that, realistically, John might be in the wrong country, but hey ho, good luck John.

 

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This is Chuck.  Apparently, Chuck thinks God has chosen him to make the whole country “righteous again”.  I was unaware that it had ever been whatever “righteous” is to start with at any point, or if it’s even possible, but Chuck is sure God wants it.

 

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This is Akinyemi.  Apparently, he is the only person who can revive a collapsed America, so you must vote for him.  It’s certainly a concise argument.

 

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This is Mariana.  I’m not sure if by this policy she means figuratively or literally, but I know I’d watch and find out.

 

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This is Armando. I have no idea what Armando stands for, but he’d like your money to help him do it as soon as possible.

 

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This is Daniel.  He’s a sovereign citizen who supports the parts of the constitution he likes and believes laws don’t apply to him unless they help him persecute and sue others who try to enforce the laws he doesn’t like.  Apparently Jesus is on his side too.

 

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This is Dan.  He’s an animal rights attorney.  I had no idea animals were rich enough to hire attorneys, but you learn something new every day.  Dan wants to empty the jails.  Dan also needs to hire a better photographer.

 

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This is where the good citizens of District 3 find out no one cares about them.

 

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You know the saying that we get the government we deserve?  If that’s the case, it seems we’ve been very, very bad people.

 

 

 

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And to think one of these fine people could have control of America’s nuclear arsenal one day 🥴

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4 hours ago, Blatman said:

The full guide (multiple PDF's) can be found here:

https://voterguide.sos.ca.gov/pdf/

I wonder what the one for Alabama looks like... :oops: 

 


Like Marty McFly just took the DeLorean back to 1955.

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4 hours ago, Blatman said:

I wonder what the one for Alabama looks like... :oops: 

 

Like he doesn't use these on the bed. 

image.png

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On 27/05/2022 at 16:47, Stuart said:

Only in America........ 

 Not so in my experience. Just look at our current lot and if they had to write their own comments I doubt many could. And if you want to see wierd, local elections really bring out the nut jobs

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