FATBOY Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 .....two ninety year olds get married, as a treat the old girl promised the bloke a treat. He chose to eat some nunney but was too old to to get down so the old girl said she would straddle him. After about 10 minutes he said 'shame about the titanic isn't it?' at this the old girl gets up and wants an explanation of what he is on about. Oh he said I was just reading that scrap of paper that was stuck to your A***. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug D. Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 > Back in the Swinging Sixties, Michael Caine is holding a big showbiz > party in his sw**ky new house. > > > Everyone who's anyone is there - top stars from the worlds of movies and > music, fashion and art. There's a feed of pints, the best wines that > money can buy, oysters,champagne, Lennon and McCartney are helping > themselves at the bar, Jim Morrison and his band are sitting on the > couch singing "Light My Fire", and over in the corner, George Peppard's > getting very pally with Sophia Loren. All's going really well, until Jim > Morrison decides he's bored out of his skull, and wants to go home for > an early night curled up with a good book. > > > "Oi, Jim," objects Michael Caine, "party's just got started. How's about > I get one of 'the ladies' to take you into the spare bedroom for a bit > of the 'how's yer father?'" "Fair play," nods Jim [well that's not his > exact words, but you get the gist], "as long as she does the rest of the > band, too." > > > "Not a problem, Jim," smiles Michael, as he pulls a young dolly bird in > close and whispers some instructions in her ear. Half an hour later, the > young lass is just wiping her chin, when in walks Ringo Starr from the > Beatles. > > > "Alright, luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending that > service to me, do you?" The young woman thinks about this for a second, > then says "What the ####!" and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to > work. > > > > > > Ringo's having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, The > door open and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the young one by the > back of the hair and Slaps her hard across the face! Wh-what was that > for?" she whimpers. > > > "I told you," Caine snarls. > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > (you're gonna love this) > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > (wait for it) > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > . > > > "You're only supposed to blow the blo*dy Doors off..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westfields Rock On Posted March 14, 2003 Share Posted March 14, 2003 LOL!!!! That is soooooooo funny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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