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How the press "report the story".


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Posted

A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.

A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, has watched the whole event.

Laura, addressing the Harley rider says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”

Miss Kuenssberg "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a BBC journalist, you know, and tomorrow's news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit”. Laura Keunssberg leaves the scene.

The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.

BBC Headline: RIGHT WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH.

And THAT pretty much sums up journalism approach to the news these days

  • Like 1
  • Haha 7
  • Blatman changed the title to How the press "report the story".
Posted

Excellent! :cool:

Posted

Recent report from Ms K, BBC balanced journalism dept. (blah blah) makes me wonder if I do want to renew my TV licence.

Posted

I can't watch the BBC's 1:00 news. The journalists are not worthy of the term and the news reader acts all shocked and surprised at every Covid 19 'story'. Stupid, so-called 'political' angles... 

 

BBC Radio 4 is much better. 

  • Like 1
Posted
4 hours ago, Blatman said:

A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.

A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, has watched the whole event.

Laura, addressing the Harley rider says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”

Miss Kuenssberg "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a BBC journalist, you know, and tomorrow's news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit”. Laura Keunssberg leaves the scene.

The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.

BBC Headline: RIGHT WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH.

And THAT pretty much sums up journalism approach to the news these days

 

Blaters, that one is excellent mate 👍 PMSL here. Oh so true.

Posted

Reminded me of the old Stanley Holloway Monologue "The Lion & Albert "

 

image.png.57bdcf5521f1ec20e132f3c670226c43.png

Posted

Great minds, Bernie! "Tha' lion's eaten our Albert!" Hear for yourself!

 

Not to forget Sam and his infamous musket here! :d

Posted

Nohas Ark one of the best lines

 

It rained and it rained for a fortnight 

till folks up to rooftops at climb 

they said it were wettest summer 

that Bury had had for some time !

 

☂️☂️☂️

 

 

image.png

Posted

Let's have another one, it involves Dominic Cummings, a sick wife, a child with Autism, a house near to his parents (although saying "grandparents" makes it sound better) a man with a shop at Barnard Castle who looks identical to Cummings and a nation of idiots with pitch forks and torches.

Posted

Looking forward to his briefing this aft

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