Blondes

[Fat Albert]

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class who belongs in Economy and who won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes to the blonde and tries to xplain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, I speak blonde!"

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm sorry", gets up and moves to her back seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask the pilot what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her "First Class wasn’t going to Melbourne"

[Phssthpok]

.....two bowling teams, one made up of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend tournament in Totnes. (said with a lisp)

The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level.

The brunette team down below is whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.  

She decides to go up and investigate.

When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them.

The brunette says, What is going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs.

"Yeah," says the blond, "but you've got a driver!"

[Fat Albert]

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy, Mummy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" , and she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"No, it's because you're 28."

[Timo]

I told that joke to the blondes in our office and they said

"we blonds at the ofise are tyred of all the dum stoopid jokes about us. we think this is hairassment. it causes us grate stres and maks or roots turn dark. we have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at clairoil. we will tak this all the way to the your o peanne cort if we have two. sherry blare knos all about harressment and he will be on or side. we have also talked to an emmpee to make a new law to stop pursicushion. we want a law that makes peepol stop telling blonde jokes and tell brewnet jokes insted. we will also stop giving you hed with your cofe. by the way why do you not like biskits."

sined the ofice blondes

[Chris Elworthy]

........and we can't stop, we've all been told to go & clean the Tipp-Ex off of our PC Screens.