THE BIG POLITICAL GAME (A gentle parody).

[DonPeffers]

For a very long time (before politicians were invented) Britain was ruled by Kings and Queens. Centuries ago Britain's sailors found other countries with common people and took their wealth. These countries became known as The Commonwealth.

Once politicians had been invented they needed somewhere to meet and debate issues affecting common people. That place was called Commons House.

Commons House had 650 MPs (Multiple Personalities) and almost all had no qualifications, except the ability to stand and talk for hours. Many MPs had a variety of jobs such as Journalist, Company Director, Lawyer as well as Politician, and concentrated on none.

To ruin a wealthy country like Britain would not be an easy job. The job of ruining Britain was always given to someone called Prime Minister (PM).

PM is backwards MP. The PM was so backward they could only do one job (ruining the country) unlike multiple job MPs.

Throats could become very dry with all the talking MPs had to do, so Commons House had 9 subsidised bars.

Sometimes squiffy MPs would pass unusual laws, like making it illegal to set off nuclear explosions in Britain. This allowed people to sleep soundly in their beds, knowing that if they were vapourised then someone would have to explain to a man wearing a wig; as long as he had not been vapourised too.

UK Main Political Parties---

CONSERVATORY---Party for people who had large houses with glass extensions at the rear.
LABOUR---Party for people who are labourers. NEW LABOUR---Party for workers in a greater range of jobs.
LIBERAL UN-DEMOCRATS---Party for those who reject democracy because they know what's best.

45 years ago Britain joined 6 countries already in EU (European Union) which was a club to trade goods. Over many years EU expanded to absorb many other countries even if they were destitute and had no roads. The ultimate aim was to get New Zealand to join and EU to encircle the world. N.Z. had been discovered and named by the Dutch who were keen to get it back.

MAJOR POLITICAL FIGURES....

1st Female PM---MARGATE THATCHER (CONSERVATORY) ---MARGATE was so caring she wanted to protect workers from dirty, dangerous jobs like coal mining and steelworks so closed these down. Because she could only sleep for 4 hours a night, tiredness meant she forgot to make new jobs. While some were happy to stay home penniless and play ZX81 games others were unhappy.

1st NEW LABOUR PM---Y NOT B LIAR ---Y NOT was a lawyer and that is someone who can have different meanings for words. Y NOT said Tie-Rack's leader, (MADASS INSANE) could launch big weapons called WMD at Britain in 45 minutes. WMD meant anything from a nuclear bomb to a box of matches. As America had lots of bombs reaching their best before date an alliance attacked Tie-Rack. No WMD were found and the Dictator was otherthrown.

1st PM possibly of African descent---DAVID of CAMEROON (CONSERVATORY)--DAVID became PM when Britain voted that he could eat a bacon sandwich much daintier than his rival. Aware of EU plan to control NZ, DC had an EU NEVERENDUM to Remain or Leave and warned if Leave then likely next thing would be War 3. Majority voted Leave so DC resigned as could not risk starting a war. DC was voted Britain's third worst PM, pushing Brown Gordon down to fourth. BG complained about unfair voting system.

Then TIM FARGONE (LIBERAL UN-DEMOCRAT) wanted another EU NEVERENDUM (ad infinitum) just to be sure the result was correct.

2ND Female PM---MOTHER THERESA (CONSERVATORY)---She was so saintly the worst thing she ever did was run thru a wheat field when very young. MOTHER told EU that Britain would leave on 29 March 2019. As we're about half way thru leaving I guess that puts us about mid English Channel, desperately trying to avoid drowning.

Politics never ends but the story stops here (FTTB).