Captain Colonial Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Now that I'm off committee, I can start to tell you about some of the things I learned while I was in the inner sanctum, and the first of these is how soap is a giant con. First of all, soap does work - I'm not saying it doesn't. We'd all be filthy, smelly individuals if it weren't for soap. However, I learned that soap has a secret ingredient you won't be aware of. Dirt. Why? Simple - so you'll keep buying it because you think it works so well. Case in point - do some dirty work on the car or in the garden or a bit of DIY, then wash your hands with soap and rinse them off with water. Have a look at your hands, which are now clean (if you did it right). Now wash your hands a second time using soap and water, and have a look at what's coming off your hands and landing in the sink as you do so - the lather and water should be the same colour as the soap, but it's not, is it? It's ever so slightly dirty. Because your hands were already clean, there's only one explanation - soap contains traces of dirt so you can look at the dirty rinse water and believe it's actually working. Wash your hands as many times in a row as you like - the results are always the same. Slightly dirty rinse water. The water isn't dirty coming out of the tap. Your hands are already clean. So where's the dirt coming from? It can only be the soap. It's a gigantic con and the more expensive the soap, the more dirt is in it so you'll believe the pricey soap works better. Soap is a con - pass it on. (I will soon start offering Captain Colonial's Tinfoil © with the miracle ingredient Madeitupitis™ that you can shape into headwear that will stop "Them" from reading your thoughts, or wrap your body with to protect you from secret "R" waves, or even line the inside of your home and car with for super safety - stay tuned.) 1 Quote
DamperMan Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Never been but weight watchers and all the others are a brilliant con also. If they worked the'd have no customers.. but as they don't fat folk just keep returning. 1 Quote
Man On The Clapham Omnibus Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I wonder if Scott realises that a deranged ex-chairman as a crossword clue would be a rich axeman? 1 Quote
pistonbroke Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Not to worry , Nursey will soon be along with his meds 1 Quote
Andy Banks Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Should I be worried? I've only been in the job 3 months, but really, should I be worried... 2 Quote
SootySport Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I won't be shaking hands with Scott from now on, he's jsut tooooooo dirty. Quote
John K Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Why is it every time Scott posts in his post chairman role, I think of Crazy Marvin (John Malkovic) in the RED movies... He was slightly bonkers/paranoid as well... Quote
Captain Colonial Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 7 hours ago, John K said: Why is it every time Scott posts in his post chairman role, I think of Crazy Marvin (John Malkovic) in the RED movies... He was slightly bonkers/paranoid as well... And that is why I will still be alive and in charge of the Resistance when the robots rise, and why you will be one of the sheeple. By then, it will be too late for you but you'll have plenty of time in servitude to the electronic overlords to realise I was right all along. Enjoy. Quote
Terryathome Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 32 minutes ago, Captain Colonial said: And that is why I will still be alive and in charge of the Resistance when the robots rise, and why you will be one of the sheeple. By then, it will be too late for you but you'll have plenty of time in servitude to the electronic overlords to realise I was right all along. Enjoy. Beam me up Scotty Quote
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