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Posted

WOT? ???

 

 

It's NEVER my fault, whatever happens  :p  'cos I'm the best driver in the world.

 

 

Posted on behalf of

EveryDriver

That reminds me of a wealthy mate of mine..... he earned every penny of it so I don't run him down for being rich.... he is however utterly utterly  stupid..... 

 

Let me explain.......

 

We toddled off to Germany by road in his new Jaguar XK8 convertible.... in Shaguar Purple it looked a stunning motor...... I wasn't going to pass up a chance of thrashing that on some of the unrestricted roads now was I ?????

 

So long story short, post thrashings and many fuel stops later he's asleep.... I'm bored..... push all the buttons there are and then..... still bored..... he stirs and says "oh F**##..... don't press that button.... (the one that turns the traction control off)..... I says "why ??" he replied "well it's like a dare button....... I'd only had the car a week..... and been watching top gear.... they were showing how well the Jag goes sideways..... I pushed it 3 weeks ago..... and said to one of my clients in the passenger seat "watch this....." the rest is history mate...."

 

I had to ask..... "Well What happened?" 

 

The reply made me laugh so much I had to stop the car because I couldn't breathe..... 

 

He said "I hoofed it.... turned the wheel a bit and promptly left the road backwards.... couldn't see a thing for all the smoke..... stuffed it into a semi soggy field and wrote the exhaust system and the rear bumper off.... cost me twenty five and a half grand..... "

I commented that it sounded a bit expensive for some fairly light damage..... his reply killed me..... "Oh the damage was trivial mate..... even if you include the new passenger seat.... they didn't reckon they could get the fecal matter and staining out of the stitching.... I had to buy him a new suit..... and do his job for free"  

  • Like 1
Posted

Are we just talking cars or bikes as well?

Posted

Bring on the bikes.....

Posted

About 7 years ago, my fault, wrote off both cars

 

Write Off 1

 
I was driving the Silver Mundane and I hit the poor sod in the Black Puma
 
Happened near to Glympton, North of Oxford. Would like to blame my TomTom which detected a holdup on the A40 Oxford Ring Road and redirected me down the country roads.
 
It was late December and the snow and ice hand cleared from the roads, except for a very tight right hander which was very heavily shaded and the ice hadn't cleared.

 

I washed out but managed to keep it on the road and get round the corner, which was where I collected the Puma. I reckon the combined impact speed was about 50 mph.

 

Ironically if I had just let the Mundane do its own thing and slide off the road I would have ended up in a field, there wasn't even a fence.

 

Thankfully nobody was badly hurt.

 

Posted

I've never caused a collision in a car apart from light shunts in traffic. None of them resulted in a claim. My problem is people run into me and usually leave the scene! It's happened twice in ten years, last time was a month ago.

 

I caused a collision on a 750 Honda when I was 19. I left a country pub on a damp evening and lost the back wheel on wet leaves. My bike hit an oncoming car and jammed under the front axle. I then slid into the bike and was bounced across the road and into a hedge. Luckily I was young and resilient, I wouldn't bounce like that now, 40 years later, but I still ride a bike!

Posted

Nov '15 Travelling along a country lane which had just dropped down to a 30 limit. There was a bus facing me waiting to turn right. Momentarily blinded so spotted the Nissan Note that was parked between the junction and a bus stop far  too late. I was obviously going to hit something, so chose the car rather than the bus. Shifted it a fair bit down the road. 

 

Year old Golf GTD written off, as was the Nissan. Got 4 months in a Renault Captur as punishment. 

 

As an aside, the Golf was a very pleasant place to have a crash in. 

Posted

Where to start,

16 on the moped, I was sure I could get round the corner at the speed I planned but likely not, hit the wall, busted knee and punctured kidney, writ off the fizzy.

Fast forward 18 months coming out of Carlisle, minding my own business, approaching car turns right in front of me I hit him, helmet came off, fractured skull,broken wrist and hand. Can't remember a thing about it to this day, Kawasaki writ off, snapped in two.

3 months later, back on the road, going around a corner, nicely cranked over,car on my side of the road,hit him in the side, went in through the side window and back out over the roof,broken collar bone and shoulder blade, punctured lung, Honda writ off.

Decided to try cars after that, haven't been too bad only one write off,no injuries

Posted

I won't tell you how much your fizzy is worth now had it survived......

Posted

Ah...the good old fs1e...loved my little old Yamaha and was my first ever mode of motorised transport at 16.

Anyway, my war and peace effort....

Had a few bikes and cars, with associated knocks, both non fault and my fault, but last one was huge and not pleasant....

10 years or so ago, my daily drive was a jap wrx my94 imported from Japan through a broker in 2000, so was six years old and low mileage when I got it, and killed it 6 years later much to my dismay, as I loved the car..gave me a thrill every time I sat in it, which has not been repeated since, until I got my westie last summer...

So I'm travelling home from work around teatime in June, and had got diverted to another road due to abnormal rainfall flooding my normal route. I'm travelling down a long hill that went under a railway bridge, following a year old series 5 Beemer. We are doing 40 ish and I thought I was a safe distance behind.....looking ahead, the other half of the road is flooded under the bridge, and the approaching car has given way to the Beemer and me as we approach. Several cars pull up behind the giving way Mazda 6.....

At the last minute, matey boy pulls out around the puddle, and the Beemer throws out the anchors, kitchen sink....everything. It's a new car with traction control, anti lock brakes etc and my wrx is the early homologation model 12 years old and no abs....you perhaps can see where this is going....

Anyhow, there's no way I can avoid the back of him, I've given up on cadence braking and the foot is trying to get through the footwell. The back breaks away on the excessively cambered road and I'm going sideways now, and it ain't coming back....the Beemer is now pulling away from me...the Mazda has made it round the puddle, but I'm now well into a 180 manoeuvre and now sliding backwards into his path, looking over my shoulder at him as I push on the brake pedal to snuggle back into the bucket seat and wait for the bang....

Massive impact, combined speed of 50 ish miles an hour, and both cars written off....Beemer carries on and only one car stops...didn't see a thing. I'm left looking at my scooby complete with large sti spoiler, that's hit a car head on, going backwards, on the wrong side of the road....and an old couple both injured from the airbags going off, which was my main concern to be honest. Young coppers turn up and I'm fearing the worst with not a leg to stand on. The two coppers were brilliant, I told them exactly what had happened and they took it no further. I still don't think it was my fault, but the experience teaches you to never take any situation for granted, and hopefully makes you a better driver...

Mart.

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