Do you think you can do worse?

[Noel Johnson]

Okay you lot, you asked for it...

There once was a girl called Ulrika,

whose love life could'nt be sweeter,

Sven was a fan,

she was beaten by Stan,

and shagged by the bloke from blue peter!

Exit stage left followed by a bear  -admittedly it wasn't as good as Buffet the vampire slayer  

[Fat Albert]

Queen Elizabeth (I) was enthroned, Raleigh was cloakless and England were losing the war with Spain.

An English force was trapped on the beach by the Spanish hordes on land and an Armada blockade.

Treble (so called because he was three times the height of a normal man) was summoned by his Queen and dispatched to save the day. He fought his way through the hordes, waded into the sea and trod on several ships clearing the way for the seaborne rescue.

Arriving back home in he was greeted as a hero which was fine until he read the headlines in the next day's tabloid

TREBLE STAMPS ON THREE GALLEONS

Sorry but I spose most of you were born after trading stamps died  

[Two Testicles]

.....I heard that Mathew Kelly fell into the Thames and after 6 hours of searching they thought he had drowned. Then, just as they were about to give up the search, they found him clinging to the bottom of a buoy.

....my bus I think.

[chrisbin]

Tonight Matthew I will be Rolf Harris.......

and I shall do Two Little Boys......

 

[Niff Teedell]

.....I thought he was going to be George Michael singing

.....Dont let your son go down on me.

[westy]

*tuts* its ok I will get the coats for all of you......