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Do you think you can do worse?


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Posted

:p My sister opened a computer store on a beach in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore

:blush: ....I'll get my coat.

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  • westy

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Posted

*presses button under desk*

*Phssthpok's chair tips up and he disappears backwards through a trap door*

*westy drops coat down hole and brushes hands*

Posted

“Begin the unnecessary slow dipping mechanism” :devil:

Posted

:p Man goes to his doctor with a peanut stuck in his left ear.

"What can I do to get it out?" he asks pathetically.

The doctor takes a look, and says "Pour warm chocolate in the right ear and tilt your head."

"How on Earth will that help?" asks the bewildered patient.

"Easy", replies the Doc, "When the chocolate cools it should come out a treat....."

:blush: I'll just get back on the dipping stool then.....

Posted

Ok - I think I can do worse than those!

A bloke walks into a pub and notices that all the patrons are in one corner laughing hysterically at someone in the corner seat.

He buys his pint and wonders over to satify his curiosity. He sees a mushroom sat down telling the funniest jokes he's ever heard - the crowd around him are crying with laughter and he is unrelenting with the hilarity all night long.

On his return home the man's wife asks him if he had a good time.

"Yes," says he, "I met this real fun guy"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry - I will never post anything this bad again, I promise. :D

Posted

Oh Christ.... pass me the Leonard Cohen album please Yvonne.

Posted

I heard it off a guy called Phssthpok - honest guv! :D  :p

Posted

This is the sort of standard I can cope with :D

Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman arrive at the fancy dress party, the host wanders over to greet them.

'Evening gentlemen, those are some fine outfits you are wearing.  Who is it you have all come as?'

The Englishman steps forward wearing pointy ears, ... (I'm not about to type in full descriptions)

'I've come as Spock'

The Scotsman steps forward ...

'I've come as Scotty'

The Irishman steps forward dresses like a tree, the host pipes up

'The other pair were pretty self explanatory, but what have you come as?'

'Well Sir, I'm the Captins Log'

Boom boom :D

[runs out the door, glad that he had the foresight to book his taxi before he started the joke]

Posted

That is just delightful!

Mind you - it probably keeps the cats away from his head!

Posted

A sandwich walks into a pub and the barman says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."

Posted

thats the one, I remember it now:

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

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