Fridays Joke

[Petemac]

Ok here's one since I haven't sent one for a while.

 

There's an old mafia boss on his death bed talking to his grandson.

 

I wanna yu listen to mee my boy, I wanna yu taka ma 45 Peestol  to protect youselfff and it weel help hu rememberrr  me,

 

but granpapa I no like guns,  how about yu giva mee your Rolex watch instead?

 

Yu listen to meee boy,    wanna day ya gonna taka charge oh the business!  an maybe have de beutifull wife, an maybe allot of bambinose, anna one day you come home frow work ana your beeutifull wife she inna da bed weeth another man.

 

worra ya gonna do then boy?  Pointa da watch anna say............  "OK TIMES UP"?

[Stuart]

Was reminded of this one this morning:

 

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each
other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was
finally time to get married.

Before the wedding they went out to dinner and had a long conversation
regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of
their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' he asked,
rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses and
leaned over towards her and whispered: 'Is that one word or two?'

[Petemac]

Good one Stuart like that one very much.

Pete