Geoffrey Carter (Buttercup) Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Two fish in a tank. One says to the other "I hope you can drive this thing " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Woman goes in chemists shop and asks the assistant if they sell dildo's Yes madam , we have them all on display in the back room , would you like to see them then you can choose ? Off she goes into the back room and a short while later re enters the shop and say s Could I have the big red one on the back wall Madam says the assistant , i'm afraid that one isn't for sale Why ever not , says the woman Because , says the assistant ............... That one is the fire extinguisher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemesis Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Two cows in a field...... first cow says "what do you make of this 'Mad Cow Disease then'....." Second cow says "yeah tragic innit........ doesn't affect me tho....." First cow says "how's that then....." Oh..... I'm a helicopter...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mooch Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 An inflatable boy, goes from his inflatable house, down the inflatable road to inflatable school. In his inflatable class room he pulls out a pin and goes berserk. He gets called into the inflatable office to get a telling off from the inflatable headmaster who brandishes his inflatable cane and tells him.... "You've let yourself down, you've let me down, you've let the whole school down....." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigals Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigals Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass Of Home." He said: "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" I asked. "It's not unusual," he replied Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemesis Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 At the risk of getting a right good shoeing..... lets start with the 'So Blonde' jokes..... She was so Blonde.... she read somewhere that 90% of accidents happen in the home....... So she moved house..... insert 'groan' here........................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue ass fly Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Pooph She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Pooph She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue ass fly Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 Three blondes walked into a building. You would have thought at least one of them would have seen it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue ass fly Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Woman tells her blonde friend that shes slept with a brazilian "You slut" she replied "how many is a brazilian" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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