Female Westfield owner

[NevilleBull]

Current model's got the hump after months of grief about spending too much time under the bonnet or driving around getting soaked in the rain!

Wouldn't it be great if I met someone female who spent most of their time under the bonnet of a westie or blatting around  in a westfield completely naked!

Looking for newer model with "Westfield Compliant" certificate.  One that wont have a moan at me for spending an hour a week under the bonnet. Just an hour is all I ask!

Age below 28, must own a westie or about to embark on a legitimate transaction involving a westie.  If can't afford, no problem finance on written request - 0% APR to right applicant.

Must love animals especially cats,

Must love indian restaurants and getting bladdered on Bangler or any indian beer,

Infact must just love beer altogether,

Must be shorter than 5ft 10,

Must have a pet goat or chicken,

Must have an IQ higher than 130 (bit of an academic)

Must own or have owned a Ford Capri Gear or Brooklands 280 or similar,

Must not have a beard,

Must not smoke a pipe,

Must be prepared to put up with a poor man with little belongings,

Must be prepared to sacrifice birthdays/anniversaries in aid of spending the money on new wax polish for the westie,

Must be able to play the guitar like Mark Knopfler,

Must have a particular dislike for Salad,

Must love a good fry up on a Sunday morning,

Must be prepared to teach me how to put my clutch and cover back together,

Must be a dab hand with an angle grinder to cut off my diff's torx bolts.

Infact must just be a dab hand at everything.

Must love my cooking and after every meal say, "mmnnn that was the best dinner I've ever had", even if it is tripe and baked beans.  

Not fussy about anything else.  

Cheers,  

[Arm]

Neville

Suggested ammendment to you add

"Must have a pet goat or chicken,

Must have an IQ higher than 130 (bit of an academic)

Must own or have owned a Ford Capri Gear or Brooklands 280 or similar,"

Please send photo of Capri !

[John Loudon - Sponsorship Liaison]

Raquel from Only Fools and Horses had a part share in a Capri Ghia    

JL

[NevilleBull]

Well, absolutely arm,  a photo of the capri is a definite.  Need to confirm the authenticity of such a woman.  Oooh I think I'm in love just thinking about it....  Passionate romance on the bonnet of a 2.8i gear!  

There is another good point,  the woman must be a lover of Only Fools and Donkeys.  Preferably look nothing like trigger though.

Oh yes, she must own a reliant robin too. Or I will accept a woman who is prepared to invest £100 with me and buy one for an absolute hoot, ragging it up and down the king's road!  

[The Duck]

Neville if ou end up with a spare, i will take it!!!!!!!!

[crew15uk]

"Must be prepared to put up with a poor man with little belongings"

I wouldn't let on about that bit!  

[NevilleBull]

hey, no one responded. I wonder why

[Mrs Westy]

I responded to an advert like that once and look where it got me  

Mrs W  

[NevilleBull]

Can't be bad!! You have a guy with taste - he has a wesie!

Just gotta wait and see now, you never know, might have post any day from a future Mrs Westie-2!!!

Just met a nice american girl (am In IOWA at the moment) only problem is she wouldn't fit in a westie!!  too big ,  you'd have to cut the gear box tunnel out to wedge her in! Might need to make the axles stronger too!

         

[shaun]

Italian girls will fit, are fit      

[NevilleBull]

Well italian it is.  Me no speak o italiano. Although funny you should say this shaun, I''m off to Milan next week,  just a few days after I return from the US!  I wonder if I could pick one up at duty free??? Only kidding.

Hmmmmnnn.... Italian woman!!  Rather cool! She could snap me up a tasty scooby snack while I'm getting busy with my throttle peddle.  You never know, she might even be able to cook me a pizza for when the re-run of "A Racing car is Born out of my backside" is on telly.

Only trouble is though,  I'm sure Italians are used to slightly more advanced designs of cars than a Westie?     Lambodildo Countach, Massivfarti v-12, Furryarmy 355, Furryarmy Testarossa, Buginmyhatty B110 etc..

So Shaun,  do you know of any Italians that are looking to meet Westie dudes with wide and long bonnets (but sadly lacking in every other department)?

While on the subject,  a particularly smart young lady here in the US says that men drive fast cars with big bonnets to make up for their minimalist "beast" size in the trouser department. Sort of a psychological pre-occupation when men are buying cars.   Well if that's the case then what the feck have men with westie's and cateringvans got then,  the westie is about the longest bonnet i've ever known!