Captain Colonial Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Had a phone call, "withheld" (have an ex-directory number, so alarm bells already on). "Good day sir (insert banal pleasantries here). I'm calling from your broadband service provider to tell you that you have a virus on your computer, which we can help you sort for only £19.99" "Uh-huh. So you're from BT, are you?" "Yes, that is correct." "And you can solve the issue of my Apple MacBook?" "Yes, absolutely." "What a shame, as BT are not my broadband provider, and and I don't own an Apple MacBook, so you're obvious a lousy, scheming, two-bit, lying, scum-sucking, smeg-headed scam artist who steals from the unsuspecting - what do you have to say about that?" *click* Is it me, or do they get dimmer every day? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenh Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 You as well? Sounds like you dealt with them in fine style! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Had one last year, from "Microsoft", I had a spare moment or two so played along. Acting as dumb and computer illiterate as possible. You could hear the excitement in the guys voice when he thought he'd got a right sucker. Usual you have a virus, followed by a lame attempt to get you to look for some odd/suspicious looking, but perfectly innocent standard file via explorer. "If you could just press the Windows key for me", "Er, what's the Windows key? is it one of those with a funny little picture on it?" And so it went on. "Can you click on the start button?". Me, "oh no, I can't find one of those, is it on the key board, or do you mean the power button?" Increasingly exasperated description of where to find it, me, "oh no! It's missing, this virus is really bad isn't it?" So then he starts getting me to download the "Microsoft" remote support software. "It won't install, I tell him, keeps popping up a talky boxy thingy on the screen" "It says wrong version and lots and lots of numbers" "Oh" he said, "what version of Windows are you on", "Er I'm not sure, but it says OS X if I click on the about button" Silence, very annoyed voice, "can you tell me what make of PC it is please". Me, "Oh I though you said you could tell, er, I'm not sure. I can't see a brand, it's silver though" "Oh, there's some writing under the screen, it says MacBook Pro, is that the brand, er hello, hello, are you still there...." But he'd gone, and I had the pleasure of knowing that for the length of my coffee break at least, he hadn't been hoodwinking some poor sucker. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
User0083 Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Stunning Scott! Often I have "charity workers" stop me in the street "Can you spare three seconds?" Well you've stopped me and it's now about five seconds... But could I ask you a few questions? Are you getting paid to for this? Have you got to collect a certain number of signatures? are you a charity worker and doing it for free? I usually get a blank expression and I reply with, Your expression answers your first question. I'll remember Scott's though and use it next time! Dave's is awesome too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M444TTB Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I had one of these calls. Strung them on for a bit before I got tired and asked them difficult questions. They then hung up on me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 Don't worry about reading the text, just wait for the attached audio file to download and start playing automatically - pure gold Clicky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 A favourite that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhouse Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Had a phone call, "withheld" (have an ex-directory number, so alarm bells already on). "Good day sir (insert banal pleasantries here). I'm calling from your broadband service provider to tell you that you have a virus on your computer, which we can help you sort for only £19.99" "Uh-huh. So you're from BT, are you?" I had an even dafter one that that. The call started the same as Scott's, but my first comment was "So you're from PlusNet, are you?". The phone jockey sounded confused, said "No - BT." then put the phone down. Clueless. Absolutely clueless... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norman Verona Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I just got a scam email from, guess who? - PayPal. It told me I'd just paid £39 for 3 months subscription to Skype. I didn't look too closely and clicked on the link to report fraud. Halfway through I wondered why it was asking me to login and the next question was my bank details. I logged off and looked at thge email and then realised it was a scam. Changed my password, just in case. I've never been caught before but was nearly there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 The phishing ones from 'banks' are getting worse too. Had several recently where there hadn't even tried to disguise the sender's email address so at least if looked like it might have come from HSBC etc. No logos and cc'd to lots of people too. Pathetic - but they still need their fingers breaking and I would be happy to oblige. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
User0083 Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I get many, as I'm sure you all do, emails that are clearly a scam. But some, usually PayPal, look pretty convincing with logo's, letter heads and everything. But the second one addresses me as my email address it's a give away. This is the first time in a few years I've had a landline... Only person with the number and calls it is the mother in law, I can honestly say I have never answered the phone. It sounds like I could have fun with scammers!!! I might start answering it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Algar - Competition Secretary Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Brilliant sorting out of the scammer Scott & Dave. It is getting more frequent these days, it's a real shame as defeats what the internet is supposed to be about. Which have got a "Stop cold calls" campain at the moment, lets hope it is successful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marto303 Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 We have a favourite at work, sometimes on a daily basis, it usually goes something like this: Caller: Hi I'm calling from bla bla bla Health & Saftey to find out when you last had a Portable Appliance Test? Me: Portable Appliance Test whats that? Caller: It's a test required by law to check all of your small portable appliances are safe Me: Oh right, er I'm not sure we have, how could I tell? Caller: Have a look on the back of one of your plugs, is there a sticky label? Me: Yes Caller: What does it say? Me: B&Q £1.99 Caller: Long silence (the penny then drops) CLICK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexander72 Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 my favourite is asking Yell (hibu) to explain the internet to me.... they normally hang up after 5 minutes,,,, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WestyNottm Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 We have a favourite at work, sometimes on a daily basis, it usually goes something like this: Caller: Hi I'm calling from bla bla bla Health & Saftey to find out when you last had a Portable Appliance Test? Me: Portable Appliance Test whats that? Caller: It's a test required by law to check all of your small portable appliances are safe Me: Oh right, er I'm not sure we have, how could I tell? Caller: Have a look on the back of one of your plugs, is there a sticky label? Me: Yes Caller: What does it say? Me: B&Q £1.99 Caller: Long silence (the penny then drops) CLICK Hilarious, must try that one. Much better than me telling them that we are electrically qualified and do our own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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