WSS official banter page

[smithy]

Please Mr webmaster can we have a speed series banter page, so that we can all take the p***s out of cheshire folk without upsetting serious contributors.

'cheshire lads born and bred

all in arm and non in head'

[SteveD]

                                                                    fields full of em , print this off you welsh git then you can take it with you to lyden it will remind you of home                          

[I.S.M]

Yorkshire, Yorkshire, Yorkshire!

[SteveD]

york what where's that they have sheep there don't they,arrrr only you don't do obsene things with em                      

[SteveD]

can't wait to go to Llys-y-fran a propa welsh place with propa welsh people with propa names like jones and davies,not some mickey mouse plastic copy village where people live  with names like smith   what sort of name is that    

[Mark Stanton]

Not quite Welsh    Smith ..... but Davies is a Welsh name.

I hope this WSS banter doesn't evolve in us having to talk about Caterthingy's ...... lets stick to something that we can all appreciate ......... Stella and curries.        

[Blatman]

Who's this Stella bird, then?

[Mark Stanton]

She's a golden beauty of Belgian origins      

[Buzz Billsberry]

Typical Welsh always winging we want this,we want that I agree there is some nice places in Wales like th A55 into England a fine piece of Dual carriage way.Plus @ least our villages have running water, electricity and decent weather

Our sheep our more sophisiticated and have attractiveness beyond your wildest dreams                          

Buzz

PS Your rugby team is crap too

[SteveD]

stella i think she's like that offa bird he was going on about you know the dyke the one that dosn't like blokes  

[Mark Stanton]

No ...... Offa was the big buxom bird who built a Dyke    to try and stop the Welsh and their ugly sheep crossing into our glorious English countryside  

And the Welsh DO NOT have any sense of humour ... Max Boyce       ..... I know cos I was there .... is not funny neither is shouting ogy oggy oggy  

Welsh choirs aaaagggghhhhh Must agree with Buzz the best thing to come out of Wales is the A55.

Betcha they've all gone to pee in the reservoirs now to get their own back ......... even more reason to introduce yourself to stella        

[SteveD]

A WORD OF WARNING FOR ALL YOU YORKSHIRE RESIDENTS BETTER LOCK UP YOUR SHEEP ON THE 28TH APRIL BECAUSE THE WELSH GITS COMING YOUR WAY    DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU                        

[smithy]

yes you have been warned,

i shall of course be calling by in cheshire on route to drop some ferrets off at middlewich,

and pick up the special cream.

[SteveD]

errrrrrrrrrrrrrr ferrets stay away you welsh git keep your little furry friends to your self you skunk    

[Mark Stanton]

Tripod ? R U braggiing again    or just trying to impress those Yorkshire sheep  

THE SS DRIVERS CODE - this is it. So it has been written, so it shall be....The CODE:

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"

2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night or during a weekend SS away may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow drivers.

4. When you are queried by a driver's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a driver out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar or at Bar B Q by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call bulls***. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.)

7. If you've known a driver for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another driver who's running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

9. b***hing about the brand of free beer in a drivers refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No driver is ever required to buy a birthday present for another driver. In fact, even remembering their birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay. (except for Robbo's 50th and Rocket Rons 50th at Curborough)

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your fellow driver is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your stag night.

12. Before dating a driver's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a chicken wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for drivers who help you with your car is beer.

16. A driver must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. Your girlfriend must bond with your fellow driver's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pal's significant dick-heads --- low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

18. When stumbling upon other driver watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your fellow driver and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

20. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

22. A driver in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

23. If a driver is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.

Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good kickin ", then you may sit back and enjoy.

24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

25. If you compliment a driver on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in discussing a driver, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.

27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

28.If a driver is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

29.Before allowing a drunken driver to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "**** OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.

30.The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just friends" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.