craggers Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 The US Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to drop'em, which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!, he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Captain calmly replied, "Vietnam." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu999 Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoso Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick M Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 LOL !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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