Its never too late to discuss anything.
I think there is a bit of this in everyone. Everyone's life experience either exacerbates or subdues these feelings to different degrees.
I started my first kit car build at age 19 and (wasted) five/six years of my early twenties whilst my mates were off to Ibiza, partying and catching diseases! :-)
But I didn't waste that time, I learnt so so so much. I come from an engineering family but I taught myself everything. I recently qualified as a welder/fabricator using knowledge I picked up 15/20 years ago. Why did I choose to do it? Because somebody told me I couldn't. Not content with putting a straight forward Pinto in the car, I bored it out to 2.1 and strapped a turbo on as well. Why did I do the qualification? Because it was never good enough telling people you can do it, but a piece of paper will shut them up!
I was always very hard on myself, and still am, I guarantee I would have been diagnosed on the "spectrum" if it was around in the days of black and white. I was always worried working full time would limit me reaching goals outside of work. In 2008 I went self employed and my perspective changed entirely. I was the only person to limit myself, but with that I had to learn to be easier on myself otherwise I would burn myself out mentally and physically. So long as I could go to bed knowing I had given 110% then I would sleep well. They say Rome wasn't built in a day, and the long game always yields better results.
The other revelation I had was reading lots of autobiographies. From Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alan Sugar to Guy Martin etc they all have similar traits. They all have this desire to succeed, or they need to prove themselves, which drives them. This allowed me to take a view and understand that its entirely normal to be so driven.
My other half laughs at me all the time, I cannot sit still, I rarely watch tv and I am lost without a project to do. I bought a house last year which is filling the project quota no end, but I still lay awake analyzing every detail of all of the projects. The trouble I have now is that working full time leaves me less time for "extra curricular" activities and I do sometimes feel like I dont have enough time, but I know that it will all work out in the end and fret much less about completing everything yesterday.
The other thing I learnt during my self employed phase is to not care about what anyone else says, feels, thinks or wants. I was never one for really caring for the opinion of others anyway, but being utterly selfish about what makes your life better and is best for you is the best thing you can ever do. Your family will always understand and support you (if not they should), as do loved ones. Your true friends will also do the same, those that don't are not worth the time of day. I'm not afraid of saying no to people, and always tell people what I think, whether they like it or not. People may not always agree but they will respect you for it.
I never really tried hard at school either, but did well. I started my masters a couple of years ago and I was always outspoken in class, challenging the material and asking questions of the lecturer. I saw other students rolling their eyes and tutting, mostly the basics who would prefer to discuss their holiday plans than study. Anyway, I actually applied myself for once, just to see if it would make a difference. I was mortified to only just make it into the distinction category, which I took up with the examining board having spotted errors on their model answers. It was then they told me I was one of the very few to get a distinction and had the highest marks of any other student nationwide, with some 65% failing the exam entirely. So that shut me up.
My point being is that its fine to push yourself hard, don't be afraid to raise the bar higher and higher. Even if you fall short of the bar, you'll still end up higher than the next person. Be humble, ask questions, learn new things and above all ENJOY it! So long as you do your absolute best, thats all you can ask of yourself. Once you learn to realise the things that genuinely matter you wont be so hard on yourself and then you will be in an upwards cycle instead of a downwards cycle.
I'm approaching 40 in August and must say that it doesnt daunt me at all, the only concern is of course - do I still have enough time to get all my plans done! 😉
Anyway, thats my lunch time thoughts .... :-)