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Captain Colonial

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Two fish in a tank. One says to the other

"I hope you can drive this thing "

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Woman goes in chemists shop and asks the assistant if they sell dildo's

 

Yes madam , we have them all on display in the back room , would you like to see them then you can choose ?

 

Off she goes into the back room and a short while later re enters the shop and say s

 

Could I have  the big red one on the back wall

 

Madam says the assistant , i'm afraid that one isn't for sale

 

Why ever not , says the woman

 

Because , says the assistant ...............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That one is the fire extinguisher   

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Two cows in a field...... first cow says "what do you make of this 'Mad Cow Disease then'....."

 

Second cow says "yeah tragic innit........ doesn't affect me tho....."

 

First cow says "how's that then....."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh..... I'm a helicopter......

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An inflatable boy, goes from his inflatable house, down the inflatable road to inflatable school.  In his inflatable class room he pulls out a pin and goes berserk.  He gets called into the inflatable office to get a telling off from the inflatable headmaster who brandishes his inflatable cane and tells him....

 

 

 

 

"You've let yourself down, you've let me down, you've let the whole school down....."

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Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass Of Home." He said: "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" I asked. "It's not unusual," he replied

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At the risk of getting a right good shoeing..... lets start with the 'So Blonde' jokes.....

 

She was so Blonde.... she read somewhere that 90% of accidents happen in the home.......

 

So she moved house..... insert 'groan' here........................... 

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Pooph She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Pooph She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

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Three blondes walked into a building.

 

You would have thought at least one of them would have seen it.

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Woman tells her blonde friend that shes slept with a brazilian

"You slut" she replied "how many is a brazilian"

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