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Wednesday Joke


Captain Colonial

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(Before any of you read this the wrong way, I'm totally apolitical - I think all politicians are idiots, no matter what flavour they are :p )
 
David Cameron asked the Queen, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient commonwealth and government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
 
"Well," said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
 
David Cameron then asked, "But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"
 
The Queen took a sip of champagne. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle - watch me and listen"
 
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?"
 
Prince Charles walked into the room and said, "Yes, Mummy?"
 
The Queen smiled and said to Charles, "Answer me this please Charles.  Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
 
Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered, "That would be me."
 
"Yes! Very good." said the Queen.
 
"Ah ha, I get it!", said David, "Thank you ma'am!", and in a great rush he left and went back to Parliament.
 
He decided to ask Nick Clegg the same question. "Nick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
 
"I'm not sure," said Nick Clegg.  And then in True Nick Clegg style he went on to say., "Let me get back to you on that one."
 
He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.
 
Frustrated, Nick went to the men's room in the Houses of Parliament, and found Nigel Farage in there.
 
Nick Clegg went up to Nigel Farage and asked, "Hey Nigel, see if you can answer this question."
 
"Shoot, Nick"  replied Nigel.
 
"Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
 
Nigel Farage answered, without stalling said; "That's easy, it's me!"
 
Nick Clegg grinned, and said, "Good answer Nigel, I see it all now!"
 
Nick Clegg then, went back to find David Cameron and said to him, "David, I did some research, and I have the answer to that riddle. If your mother and father have a child who is not your brother or your sister, the child is Nigel Farage!"
 
David Cameron went red in the face, got up, stomped over to Nick Clegg, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's Prince Charles!"

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... no matter what flavour they are :p )

How did you cook them? Griddled or Broiled..?

Interesting but I'm not tempted, I find they give me indigestion.

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To get flavour into something it does not necessarily need to be cooked.... it could be marinated, pickled, seasoned or in the case of Nigel Farage - smoked.

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Those of a certain age will know that George Brown, Harold Wilson's chancellor, was usually pickled. He introduced the expression 'tired and emotional' I seem to recall. 

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Those of a certain age will know that George Brown, Harold Wilson's chancellor, was usually pickled. He introduced the expression 'tired and emotional' I seem to recall.

I've had to use that expression more than once.

But I still like John Bishops quote,

"Pouring Gin into a woman is like pouring petrol into a diesel car, you know that sooner or later they're going to breakdown..."

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